Do you know when to say "when"? Not to stereotype our gender, but it does seem that we have a problem with being able to say "no" to the requests for our time, services and money. When friends and colleagues come to us for our expertise in what we do, we gladly give away our knowledge and insight. Many times though, this can lead into using our skills and services, also, and pretty soon you find that what you typically get paid for from your clients, you are now doing freebies for those close to you, and that uses up too much of your time.

Don't get me wrong, I am not suggesting that we never offer our help and services, but you need to know where to draw the line. We all are trying to create an income for ourselves and that is not going to be possible if you spend most of your time giving away your services. I mention services here because this is where I see this happening most. (Those who sell products have also had many people approach them wanting a discount on the products which cuts into what their income could be.) When people give away their services for free - this cuts into their time for when they could be either doing work for paying customers or actively pursuing some new customers.

This is something that I have struggled with all my life. I tend to be the type that loves to give and has a hard time receiving, and I hope I never change in that aspect. But over the last year, I have been needing to change in the way I think and feel when I do need to say no to someone. I have had to do this because I no longer have the luxury of a steady guaranteed income that came from my job with the phone company. Now I really "need" to create a new steady income. I
still feel very guilty at times when saying no. But I have found there are times that literally well over half the time I spent each week "working", I am giving my services away. Again - nothing wrong with helping others and contributing our time and talents to others is something we all should do. Many times this is a good way to build alliances or barter for other products/services that you need. But you need to get to the point where you put a limit on the time you can
spend doing this. If we all had the steady income that we are hoping, and many times needing to bring in, then we wouldn't need to worry about any amount of time and energy spent on this.

Does this mean you shouldn't help others or offer freebies - absolutely not. But it does mean learning to prioritize and coming to the realization that you cannot do everything for everybody and grant every request coming your way. So, know when to say "when" and try not to feel guilty about setting boundaries and limitations for yourself and your business.

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Cyndi Webb is the founder of Moms Network - www.momsnetwork.com, an organization dedicated to the success and promotion of moms at home in business. She makes her home in Minnesota with her husband and two children. * The Moms Network Online Community currently operates ten websites, all of unique value and content, in order to broaden the reach to women from all walks of life and interests.

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