Unfortunately, many studies suggest that significant numbers of people report stressful encounters with bullies during their school experience. In clinical practice I have frequently observed the residuals and anger that victims report from such experiences.

A bully always needs to be confronted as failure to do so may contribute to serious psychological and/or physical injury. In the worse case scenario, the bully activity may be life threatening. In short, dealing with a bully may be tough but not dealing with a bully may be even tougher.

The bully's behavior is not only unpleasant it is illegal and criminal. Also, the bully often has a psychological profile where he/she has been the victim of abuse or inappropriate modeling of aggressive behavior. Hence, alerting appropriate school and police authorities to investigate can be very helpful.

The following ABCs may be helpful to consider in countering a bully:

Always confront the behavior; Anticipate the risk, and Avoid the risk
Be vigilant, proactive and prepared
Communicate with teachers, principal and police; Consider Counseling and Coaching
Develop the student?s skills and awareness of why the behavior is inappropriate and criminal
Engage all possible allies
Friends are needed; Focus on the skills to make and maintain friendships
Get school, police, legal and other community support as needed to coach and counsel all the effected parties

In many instances, the bully's behavior will likely be brought under control by just the teacher's intervention. However, it is essential that the school principal and the police be informed as needed, especially if the risk is substantial.

The victim of a bully needs to be supported and validated. Also, the victim needs to be protected. It may be helpful to assist the victim by involvement in a karate class or other martial arts programs. These activities teach self-confidence, alertness and self-defense. Also, the allies and friends from this activity may discourage future bully behavior. Additionally, the student may be alerted to subtle body language that reflects poor self-esteem or vulnerability and contributes to the bully?s choice of a victim. Also, counseling and coaching may be helpful to allow the student to understand the ABCs to more effectively protect himself/herself.

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Dr. Goldetsky is a licensed psychologist, certified rehabilitation counselor and a Diplomat - American Board of Vocational Experts. He is the president of College and Career Partners, a Golden Valley, Minnesota based consulting firm. Additionally, he is a senior consultant and board member of On Call Staffing, Inc., a prominent Minnesota based HR consulting and staffing firm specializing in medical, administrative, executive and technical/IS staffing and recruiting. Dr. Goldetsky is also affiliated with The Minnesota Head and Neck Pain Clinic, a multi-disciplinary practice located at the Fairview University Medical Center Campus. This column is for general educational information and is not intended to be a professional consultation to any specific person without a signed client agreement, which documents policies, procedures and establishes a client relationship. Dr. Goldetsky may be contacted at www.collegecarepartners.com or telephone (763) 541-1326.

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