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Psychology for Moms
Overcoming the Mistakes People Make Helping and Supporting Someone with Bipolar Disorder
By David Oliver 
Jul 11, 2010, 18:33

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The incidence of bipolar disorder in America is soaring. It’s a mental disorder found in adults more commonly now than ever before. 4.4 % of adults have a form of bipolar disorder, that's almost 10 million people. 22.5 million people are close friends and family members having to deal with it.

David Oliver knows firsthand that coping with the problems faced by a close relative with bipolar disorder can be particularly daunting. Late one spring in 2003, he noticed a change in the way his mother behaved. In a matter of a few months she turned into a completely different person. She was now yelling, screaming, and getting incredibly mad at everyone who came near her. She missed days of work and wouldn't eat or sleep. She made up lies and said extremely hurtful things to close members of her family. She also accumulated more than $30,000 of debt and had missed a bunch of credit card payments. The diagnosis was that she had bipolar disorder.

David got involved. He took a year off from work and searched for help. He found his mom a great doctor and a mental health therapist. He went on to develop a comprehensive system to manage her bipolar disorder. Today she is working, out of debt, stable and doing great.

As the son of someone with bipolar disorder, David has learned the hard way what works and what doesn’t. He devoted a significant amount of time studying the illness in depth and has developed one of the largest, most in depth and highly regarded websites dedicated to bipolar disorder in the world

David Oliver has created a free special report titled The 10 Deadly Mistakes People Make Helping and Supporting Someone with Bipolar Disorder. Here is a summary of the valuable advice contained in the report.

• They fail to acknowledge that bipolar disorder is a serious disorder, and that they need to stand up to it. They don’t recognize the potential severity of bipolar disorder – that even with treatment, 10% of people with the disorder will commit suicide; and without proper treatment, 20% will die.

• They fail to recognize how crucial medication is. For one of any number of reasons, they stop overseeing their loved one’s medication, and their loved one stops taking it and, again, without treatment (medication), 20% of people with the disorder will kill themselves, and/or injure themselves or others.

• They fail to protect their finances. Nothing ruins a family faster than the complete depletion of family money during a bipolar episode. Don't think it can't happen to you. Systems must be put in place to avoid financial catastrophe. These systems can be learned.

• They take it personally. It’s hard not to take it personally when your loved one is ranting and raving at you, but if you do, it will eventually wear you down completely, until eventually there will be nothing of you left, and you will abandon your loved one. Your self-esteem will suffer, as well as your job, your health, and possibly, your life.

• They don’t take care of themselves. They put so much of themselves into supporting their loved one that they literally self-destruct – they suffer from “supporter paralysis;” a concept that I coined and developed. You can’t take care of anyone else unless you first take care of yourself.

• They don’t take charge. They let their loved one do whatever they want, and they lose it all.

• They fail to recognize that there is a Bipolar Stability Equation, with several parts or variables. While a good doctor and medication is the foundation of the
equation there are other variables that can be learned and practiced – otherwise instability will cause you to lose everything.

• They assume their loved one will never have another episode. This is an unrealistic expectation. Better to “hope for the best and expect the worst,” knowing that your loved one will have another episode sometime.

• They believe their loved one is always going to be dysfunctional. They have negative beliefs about their loved one and low expectations of them, keeping them sick (a self-fulfilling prophecy).

• They have a lack of knowledge. There is a saying, “For lack of knowledge, the people perish.” What is the absolute most deadly thing you can do? Nothing. You can do absolutely nothing. Avoiding getting lots of information about the disorder, flying blind or getting invalid information is the worst, most deadly thing you can do for your loved one. You must take action now. Don't put it off. Get more information. Learn about bipolar disorder.


Anyone wishing to receive The 10 Deadly Mistakes People Make Helping and Supporting Someone with Bipolar Disorder can visit the website to download this invaluable Special Report.

For a copy of the report visit or send an email to

© Copyright 2003 - 2011 by

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