Organizing Life, Home and Work

By Mandie Crawford
Apr 27, 2005, 23:43

Often I am approached with questions on personality styles as it relates to business. Many of these questions are the same as the ones I get about family relationships and personality styles. When I run courses that help people understand themselves and others, I am always amazed at what a difference this can make for people who have taken these courses.

Getting along with a partner, or a family member requires patience, and understanding of their motives and reasons for doing things. But many people do not even look for help until there is a problem. With this type of thinking, many find themselves in the midst of a crisis or problem before they look for help. That is when they need more information and help than I can give them.

Today’s article is written by a guest columnist, Heidi Cowie. Heidi can help with the stress that is caused by troubled relationships in business and personal lives. Take a moment to read it, and enjoy! (Read more about Heidi by clicking here. http://www.roaringwomen.com/index.php?mod=profiles&act=show&profid=41)

So You Say Your Business Partner is Driving You Nuts

Starting a business with a partner is like any other relationship…with a twist. It can be quite expensive both financially and emotionally to walk away from the partnership. In addition, the increased workload and possible loss of funding may cause stress that no one has the energy with which to deal. As in all relationships, the ability to maintain equilibrium by fair and just business practices requires effort on both sides. Without equilibrium, the relationship, and your business, could be in jeopardy.

The question then remains, how do some people succeed at partnerships and others struggle?

1. Establish clear boundaries: Decide who does what, when, where, and how and then stick to those boundaries. Often this can be difficult particularly if the partner is a family member or a friend. Some clients have had great success in establishing contracts that clearly establish boundaries. You not only keep the work load in balance, but also your emotions.

2. Clarification vs. confrontation: Most of us avoid confrontation but do not spend enough time with clarification. We may think that clarifying a need or request may be confrontational. A simple statement can clarify and dispel future misunderstandings. For example, “I think I may not fully appreciate what you are asking. Could you explain it a bit further?” Clarification achieves two purposes. First, we know exactly what is expected of us. This eliminates the danger of mind reading which leads to misunderstanding. Secondly, it keeps the path of communication open and honest which is integral to a healthy partnership.

3. Effective Communication: People feel respected when they feel they are heard. Listening without interrupting is a fundamental rule of active listening. Often, this can be tough when we feel strongly in our opinions however; listening allows us to gather all the facts which we can then use to relay our message.

Whether we are choosing a partner in a professional or personal relationship, there are fundamental elements that need to be present.

Your partner ought to share similar, if not the same values with regard to financial matters, work ethic, family responsibilities, and goals. If these values are in direct contrast to your own, friction is a sure outcome. In some circumstances, we may choose individuals who seem to have capabilities that we do not see in ourselves. In this case, try to ensure that these abilities compliment your strengths rather than compete with them.

Attempt to create a balance between knowledge and personality when choosing a business partner. If an individual has the ability and willingness to learn, training them in the complexities of your business is a realistic expectation. On the contrary, if the individual, who may come highly trained, has a personality not in keeping with you, then the relationship is doomed. Despite some opinions, the essence of a personality can not be changed. Agreed, there are elements that can be tweaked to make someone more personable however; under stressful situations, we revert to what we know and feel comfortable being.

Finally, although you may have judiciously chosen a partner, unforeseen circumstances may change your relationship. The fact is…life goes on. Cut your ties as amicably as possible and carry on with what you know
best- building your business. Remember to consider boundaries, clarification, and communication. Choose a person of like mind and personality that compliments your strengths. Be willing to invest the time to train if the personality is a match.

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Heidi Cowie owns a counselling practice in Hamilton. Part of her practice assists people in developing the life enhancing skills needed to achieve their personal or professional goals. She also is on the Board of Directors for the Hamilton Brain Injury Association and is Treasurer of PGIB Hamilton Mountain Chapter. Heidi also engages in public speaking to professional and charitable organizations. Read more about Heidi by clicking here.
http://www.roaringwomen.com/index.php?mod=profiles&act=show&profid=41. She can be reached by phone at 905 395 0686.
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For more time saving tips, order "When Every Second Counts", Mandie's new book! http://www.simplifylifespaces.com/products.htm

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If you would like to receive one on one time analysis and coaching or need help get organized from the inside out please contact mccrawford7@cogeco.ca

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