Work at Home Job Search       Find The Perfect Home Business! Free Match Up Service
150 Home Biz Opps Got a Blog? List it for Free! Free Fax Covers
WAHM Directory  ||  Promote Your Business ||  Links  ||  Freebies  ||  Kid Stuff  ||  Recipes  ||  Work at Home Blog  ||  Contact  ||  Advertise

Get Our Articles
On Your Website
Click Here

Moms Network Articles 
Back To School
Beauty and Fashion for Moms
Computer and Technology
Family & Kid Crafts
Frugal Living
Health and Fitness
Home and Garden
How To's
Life Coaching
Money, Taxes & Small Business
Organizing Life, Home and Work
Parent & Child
Problems With Solutions
Product Reviews
Psychology for Moms
Snippets of Success
Success Stories
Taking Care of You
Working @ Home
Working Your Business

Parent & Child
Is Your Teen Driving Yet?: Humorist Describes How To REALLY Test Your Teen’s Driving Skills
By Don Staffin 
Jul 16, 2010, 11:52

Email this article
 Printer friendly page


My 13-year-old triplets are fond of reminding me that in about three years they will be driving.  At times like these, I think perhaps electronic defibrillators should be standard issue with children – especially multiples.


My daughters started doing this to me about five years ago.  I remember the first time very clearly because I had the hiccups.  All of the usual remedies had failed – holding my breath, drinking water, etc.  My youngest (we have four daughters in total) tried to help by yelling “BOO!” in my face, and then wondered why I was neither startled nor cured.  Finally, one of the triplets smiled sweetly and said, “Daddy, guess what - I’m going to have my driver’s license in 8 years.”  Hiccups gone – instantly!


Three drivers licenses in one day?  How does one deal with that?  Living in The Garden of Estrogen - one male, five females - is challenging enough (  Now I have to worry about The Garden going mobile.


Maybe I should do what my father did when my sister turned 17, and plan strategic business trips with the family car for about 6 months straight.  “Sorry, Linda, you just can’t take the test next Wednesday.  I’m going to be in Schenectady.  Is that really the only available date for the next 9 weeks?  Maybe we can schedule something next year.”  My dad was brilliant.


I understand that most parents handle the driving dilemma by trying to teach their kids the basics - forward, reverse, parallel parking and the fact that the yellow light means “proceed with caution” and not “go very fast.” Frankly, I think this emphasis on parallel parking is misplaced. Who cares if the kid can parallel park?  All of the parking spaces at the mall (the destination of choice for teenagers) are head on, and all cars these days are equipped with 5 mph bumpers. Now they even come with rear-facing cameras.


I am far more concerned with how these aspiring drivers react to road situations at 25 mph moving forward than at 1 mph in reverse.  If I were in charge of devising a truly relevant driving test for today’s 24/7 drive-through world, here is what I would require:


  • Drive from home to school while 10 minutes late. Credit for not speeding.
  • Successfully ignore ringing cell phone on passenger seat while driving (and no one allowed to get a blue tooth until age 25).
  • Send and receive at least three text messages during a single red light.
  • Change ring tones while waiting in line at the McDonald’s pick-up window.  Then…
  • Drive while consuming a Big Mac, fries, and Coca Cola, without hitting anything and without spilling the Coke down the emergency brake handle.  Meanwhile, execute 3 lane changes with proper turn signals.
  • Apply eye shadow while driving (mostly for the girls)
  • Change earrings while driving (no longer just for the girls).
  • Observe another driver making an obscene gesture.  Do not respond.
  • And for the final challenge, as the would-be driver travels at 25 mph, have three mechanical squirrels scamper into the street.  Must not hit any parked cars or pedestrians trying to avoid the squirrels.


That’s what I call a driving test!


I still have three years to figure out how to expand my driveway to handle three more cars.  Anyone seen that defibrillator?






About Don Staffin


Since 2004, Don Staffin has been writing a monthly newsletter, which he recently turned into a book called Postcards from the Garden of Estrogen (  Don coaches youth soccer and basketball, and serves as the chairman of the Recreation Board of Bridgewater Township in New Jersey. 

© Copyright 2003 - 2011 by

Top of Page

Submit Articles
Parent & Child
Latest Headlines
Anxious Kids: 6 Tips for Alleviating Their Stress
The Classroom of Life: Six Essential Lessons to Teach Your Children
Are You Preparing Your Kids Emotionally for College
Is Your Teen Driving Yet?: Humorist Describes How To REALLY Test Your Teen’s Driving Skills
Get Educated Now About Preventing Child Abductions and Molestations
Top 12 Tips for Keeping Your Child Safe This Summer
12 GOING ON 30: Young Girls Wearing Too Much Make-up
Summer Brings More Pressure to Drink among Teens: Leading NYC Psychologist and Addiction Expert Offers a Refresher for Parents on Talking to Their Teens About Drinking
Parents, Are You Listening or Lecturing to Your Kids? Five Tips to Help You Listen
Planning a Dora Birthday Party
How to Plan a Spiderrman Birthday Party Theme
Curious Toddlers Can't Resist the Potentially Dangerous Goodies in Grandma's Purse
4 Blocks to Building a Lifelong Relationship with Your Daughter
Raising Multilingual Children: The First 5 Steos To Success


Free Content for Websites   Free Fax Covers   Direct Sales Opportunities   Home Business Profiles   Message Boards
How to Choose a Home Based Business   100 Home Party Games   Work at Home Tips  Guide to Direct Sales Success  
Partners In Success   Free Online Business Card   Webring   Coloring Pages  Crafts   Recipes   Family Links Guide

©Copyright 1997 - 2013 Moms Network Exchange (MNE) No content from the MNE site can be used without written permission.
Moms Network  P.O. Box 238  Rosemount, MN  55068 (phone) 651-423-4036  (fax) 651-322-1702