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Out of the mouth of babes
By Out of the mouth of babes 
Mar 21, 2007, 09:28

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Mama, how did the baby get in there? my four year old demanded one day.

I had been dreading this moment the entire pregnancy, although at seven months along I figured I had gotten lucky to get this far. Her sweet moon face wrinkled in confusion as I stumbled along in my attempts to be clinical yet skirting around the whole sex issue.

You know how Barbie and Ken really love each other? I began, Ken has a magic wand

He s Harry Potter? she asked.

No, not like that. Ken and Barbie decide to have a baby so they, sort of it was getting worse. My fifth grade sexual education classes began to creep from my memory. Mr. Bullard was red-faced as 12 ten year old girls watched in horror as the egg and sperm met on warbled tape from the projection machine. I thought he was going to pass out when the subject of menstruation was approached.

Syenna started looking at her Ken doll in a new light, searching for his magic wand. I m not sure this is what the manufacturer had in mind but I wasn t too concerned as his plastic torso wasn t anatomically correct. Still

It s not in his hand, she stated, still looking.

What? I was aghast that she had picked up on where my mind was traveling.

His wand, he must ve lost it playing with Barbie, she ran to find the blonde doll as I pulled Ken s shorts back up from around his knees.

My six year old daughter returned with her, determined to find out why Ken was now being called Harry Potter.

Mom, you know this isn t Harry Potter, Ken has no lightening bolt on his forehead. Now, where s his wand? She began to search her toy box to see if she may have overlooked an accessory in the Barbie line up. Fifteen different incarnations of Barbie lay on the floor in various stages of dress, each one she and her sister would ask, Do you have Ken s wand? then they were thrown unceremoniously to the floor. Ken lay at the bottom of the pile and smiled. Typical.

I tried to sneak out of the room before laughing out loud, as I slowly closed the door I heard Syenna say, Rowyn, do you know how babies get in mommy s tummies?

Of course, Goofball, the daddy is a farmer and plants his love seed in the mommy and her tummy swells up like a watermelon until she pops out a baby. Daddy told me.

Oh. So where does the wand come in? Syenna asked.

That must be for waving around and making babies appear.

I couldn t have said it better myself.


Stacey is a multi-tasking mom of five great girls and has of yet skirted another birds-and-bees discussion by offering ice cream at those inopportune moments. She is a graphic artist helping small businesses create their web presence at Wynter Moon Graphics and co-owner of Basic Mineral Makeup where makeup can finally be fun again!

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