This is always a subject that no one really likes talking about. Most people push this conversation to the side to avoid any interaction into the conversation of death. When you lose a loved one it hurts more than anyone could ever imagine. But what do you do when something like that happens.

Let me start by telling you a little about me, as well as my knowledge on this subject. I am a 28-year old mother of two beautiful children. I lost my father to colon cancer on September 12th, 2002. You always hear what where you doing on 911. I remember exactly what I was doing. I was bathing my then two-week old daughter and getting her dressed for the day. We had the television on. Then the bomb went off. We found out that same day that my father went to the Chemo Doctor and they told him that Chemotherapy would not help him because he only had six months to live.

We lost him exactly one year and one day after the bombing at the world trade center.

This was a difficult day for my family. We all sat around my father’s hospital bed, as we had already been told that he was going to pass away. We sat there watching him and hoping that he wasn’t in any pain. I am the middle child of three children and we all where there, along with our mother when our father passed. Watching the life drift from his body was really hard for us. He was a strong man and to see him this way was difficult. He was only 54 when he died. Our dad was the backbone to our family. The hardest part was learning a new life once he was gone. My sister and I spent every weekend at our parent’s house, we where a close-knit family.

Our children (his grandchildren Courtney then 7, Brandon then 3, Tanner and Breanna then 2 and Olivia then 1.) all sat around the hospital bed rubbing lotion on our dad’s legs and feet. They said that they where getting him ready to go to heaven. We talked to them about what was happening so they may understand a little better. But seeing them rubbing his legs for the last time was heart wrenching. My daughter Olivia had just taken her first steps that week. He never was able to see her walk. She still to this day talks about him like she remembers him so well. I guess you never know.

After my fathers funeral we all went home and had to start living our lives again, except without him. A lot of times people on the outside looking in think that over time this is something that you should get over. You truly never get over the death of a loved one. You learn to deal with it, never get over it.

I remember I was working outside of my home and my father had been gone about six months when something just hit me that I wanted to be home with my children. Working away from them wasn’t where I wanted to be. So I quit a week later. I felt that I needed the time to heal and I needed time with my children. Losing my father gave me a feeling of fear of losing everyone. I went through a real spell of depressions and spent many days lying in bed crying.
One day I realized that I had to do something. I had two children of my own and I needed to be strong for them. So I turned a very negative event in my life into something much more positive. Death is sad no matter how you look at it. But, you can learn from losing someone you love. I learned that no matter how hard life gets that things can always be worse, I learned just how short life is and you should never take things for granite.

The point I guess I am trying to make is that when you lose someone in your life, know that there are others that have felt that loss. Even though that isn’t going to help your pain, seeing that they made it through it can give you some sense of relief. Take the experiences that you have had in your life and turn them into something positive. I know my father wanted us to carry on. I know that he wants us to be happy. So we carry on and we keep him alive in our hearts. Our children all let balloons go to heaven all the time when they get balloons. This is a sense of release for our children and letting them know that even though he isn’t here they can still connect with him on there own level. Our father will forever remain in our hearts wherever we go.

I hope you can take these words and realize that life is a cycle.

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This article was written by Rhonda Warren, the Founder of the Inspiring WAHMS Team. Rhonda has been working out of her home since 2003. Her and her family live in a small town in Indiana. Once Rhonda lost her father to cancer she realized the importance of being home with her family. If you would like to contact her feel free to at Rhonda@inspiringwahms.com or visit her online at: www.inspiringwahms.com.

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